THE DISCOMFORT OF GRACE

          As a Christian, I believe in prayer and that prayers are answered when I pray.  I know, through God’s word, that He promises many things to us if we ask Him and believe.  I expect that He will answer my prayers and supply my needs.         

          However, I have been wondering about a feeling that I have when something happens that is an unexpected, wonderful result in a situation that has been troubling me.  I have a true realization that God has intervened and that the result is a gift.  My feeling is both one of surprise and of a certain discomfort that I did not understand. 

           I have said all of that to say this:  Grace (unmerited favor) is not earned, is a free gift, has no strings and is given to us because God wants to give it.  Intellectually, I know this.

           I was listening to R.C. Sproul (Ligonier.org) teach about the storm in which Jesus spoke to the seas and told them to be still and about the time He told Peter to take his boat out and let down his nets after Peter had fished all day with no result, and the fish miraculously poured into the nets.   With the storm situation, the bible says the disciples were afraid, and with the fish situation, Peter said “depart from me, I am a sinful man.”    Both occasions were evidence that Jesus was God and controlled the elements.  Both occasions brought the men face to face with the living God and they were afraid.  When the light of the presence of God shines upon men, we know we are sinners and  are undeserving of any favor.  We cannot stand in His presence.

           That discomfort is a realization that God is, that He loves me, and that I don’t deserve His love.  He gives it to me anyway, as a free gift.  It is called grace.  Through that same grace, I was forgiven and made new, so I can stand in the presence of my God…a new person, His adopted daughter in whom He delights.  Thank you. Abba.

Who is Directing Your Movie?

            A friend and I were listening to another friend tearfully sharing the circumstances in her life.  While I listened, I watched her expressions as they changed from one emotion to another as she pictured the various situations in her mind.   It was as though she was playing a movie filled with replays of past hurts.   Her emotions were moving up and down, over the waves of each memory, unchecked and unbridled.      Because she was operating the projector, she described the show, inserted the facts as she saw them, and moved herself through the tragedy hopeless and helpless. 

            After sharing with us, she looked through tearful eyes with anticipation at my friend and me, hoping we could write a better script….and we could, and we did.  My friend shared similar experiences with the tearful one and tried to give her examples from her own life and of hope for a better life.    The tears stopped as she listened and then, all of a sudden, she began running the projector again…replaying a scene, again, falling back into the tragic drama again.   Over and over I watched as hope turned back to fear or despair depending upon where her internal attention was directed. 

            It (in a sense) was fascinating to watch.  Nothing was happening as we sat at the table that would be upsetting.  The room was filled with compassion and love, kindness, gentleness and uplifting encouragement.  Our guest was receiving “validation”, time, courtesy and, later, prayer.  The whole show went on behind the scenes (in our guest’s head and mind) regardless. 

            I believe we have the ability to put another movie in the projector.  We see things filtered through the junk in our minds…strongholds, hurts, memories, co-dependent urges.  As Paul said, we see through a glass darkly.        I know that once my perception changes regarding a circumstance (usually with understanding), my movie changes also.  

            I believe that we have the ability to always be in peace, to have understanding if we splice the movie with the Word.         We need the understanding that God has and to be able to see situations and people through spiritual eyes.   Since we have produced, directed, and starred in the movie in our minds, we have the ability to change it at any time.  If we let God be the director, He can splice the film, add love and understanding, and produce a happy ending.  

            We need to stop thinking we know everything, that we are right, that what we see is real…it isn’t true. 

            God has us in His hands all the time.  Nothing happens by chance.  Trust Him and ask that He let us see through His eyes…not ours.  We are flawed; He is not. 

            Remember, we have been chosen for such a time as this.

Get the “I” out of your “eye”

I just realized how many sentences begin with the word “I”, both my own and everyone else’s.   As a Christian, I state that Jesus is my Lord and I turn my will and life over to Him daily….but I don’t.  Whenever I say “I can’t”, “I think”, “I will”, my “I” is driving the bus.    If I have “I”s in my eyes, I can’t see where I am going.

Every time I emphatically express my opinion on a subject, my “I” is in my eye.  Whenever I think I know more than another, I poke another “I” in my eye.  I’m good at pushing “I”‘s into my ears also.

In order to see clearly, I need to look through His eyes…His abilities.  Jesus told us the Holy Spirit would be our counsellor and He would lead us to all we need to know.   If I do not speak His words, think His thought, act upon His leadings, I am just a clanging cymbal or clanging brass…no one can hear me but me.

Eyes that Cannot See

            Once upon a time in my life, the Lord gave me two insights.  I was told a story about child molestation and about a mother who was told, but did nothing about it,   The storyteller told me she could not understand how people could ever state that they were able to put the past behind them, to move on and let go of their anger and resentments.  I told her that, as she continued to grow in the Lord, she would come to have a different perspective about the past, but that right now she had “eyes that cannot see“.  That phrase, I knew, came straight from God because I don’t think or talk that way.

            As I continued to listen, she then asked how a mother could have allowed something like this and I said, “People who are always struggling to just survive have no room for heart.”   That, too, I believe came from the Holy Spirit because I never heard it or thought that before either.

            I have known many survivors.  Survivors can only look to themselves, they build walls of protection, they arm themselves with barbed wire…their heart is so hidden behind years of built up “protections” that they cannot see or truly love.  Initially, the walls might have been necessary, but as one brick builds upon another, then another, the walls become a prison with tinted windows.  The glass has been tinted by the wall-maker and they cannot see clearly and do not think they can ever come out.  Most times, they do not even want to look out.  It is safer in the dim prison.

            I am grateful that I now have this awareness.  Only Christ can clean the windows and tear down the walls, usually, only one brick at a time.  I pray for the discernment to be able to see the cracks in those walls and to be the light that slivers through.   I do not want to be a Christian who passes the outside walls and never tries to look inside…too busy, too consumed with myself, or too insensitive to listen to the Holy Spirit.

            Paul prayed for us in Eph. 1:18 (amp) “…by having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, how rich is His glorious inheritance of the saints.

            When the eyes or our hearts are open, we can see as He does, our eyes are on Him, his eyes are upon us forever and always (1 Kings 9:3).  He asks us in Proverbs 23:25 to give Him our heart and let our eyes observe and delight in his ways.   

            He tells us through Ezekiel to look with our eyes and hear with our ears, to set our hearts and minds on all that He shows us…because that why we were brought here. (Ez. 40:4)

            He tells us in Ez. 44:5 to  set our heart to see with our eyes and hear with our ears.

            In Acts 13:9-12 Paul was able to use discernment of evil and in Acts 14:8-10, he was able to “observe” faith.

            Pray that the eyes of your heart be enlightened and that you see everything through God’s perspective.  Then take action.

New Painting

Heron Hideaway

 Found this fellow while walking on a path with a friend.  As we rounded a curve, there he was, standing in the stream.  He stayed long enough for me to sketch him.  What a great gift!

New Artwork-God and Art

There are special places in all of our lives.  My favorites are spiritual retreat centers.  I have the ability to memorialize the experiences in my artwork.  These pieces are copyrited and may not be copied for any purpose.

This is located at San Alfonso Retreat House in West Long Branch NJ

Boardwalk at San Alfonso Retreat House

 

St Joseph's by the Sea, Mantoloking, NJ

This is the Lake at America’s Keswick in Whiting, NJ

If you want any information regarding any of my artwork, please contact me. 

Tis the Season…for art shows

Already entered the first show of the season two weeks ago.  I was pleased with the placement and attention my paintings got.  All my paintings were acrylic and, even though I usually do watercolors, the response to this media was very good.  Nearly all attendees stopped to look at my paintings, although I did not sell any yet.  But, I will, by the grace of God.  It felt good to be back in the art world.   It was nice to see people I’ve not seen for a while.   The atmosphere is friendly and noncompetitive.

So, here are some of the new acrylic paintings.  Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to place them properly, but at least they are here.

This season will be fun and, PROSPEROUS! 

God’s Moving!

   I am very excited!  In a quest to find art supplies, I checked out a new store in Beachwood NJ.  I did not find the supplies that I sought; however, in having a conversation with the owner she asked to see some of my product.  Of course, I had some mugs in he car and got one to show her.  Not only was she excited about them, but she asked for 6 on consignment and asked what else I could bring her.

  Today, I brought some note card sets and some matted prints.  She is going to come to the house on Monday to see more of my work so that she can sell it in a special section!

   So, I have another outlet for my artwork.

New artwork

Little Guy MugThis is my latest effort. I have already sold two dozen to Retreat Houses. It is a recovery statement and I am very excited about it. Island Beach State Park....Winter flora and fauna

This is a new painting.  My style is changing.

I have also been commissioned to do a specific painting for a retreat house for their use on their own mugs.

God is Awesome.

piece of sand dune

Canvas Bag. hand painted

New hand painted canvas bags.  Acrylic paint is washable and durable.

THE PAJAMA PLOY

When my son was little and it was time for bed, I would trick him. I would ask which pajamas he wanted to wear-the blue ones or the red ones. He would happily pick out his preferred color and then go to bed on time without trouble. He thought he was in control. However, the purpose of the ploy was to have him go to bed. We are being tricked by the Congress by the same ploy: Public Option or no Public Option. As we quibble about that, as we discuss that, as we are deluded to think that we have some control voicing our opinions, calling or emailing our representatives and Senators. Putting our “foot down”! However, the purpose of the ploy is to pass a sweeping healthcare plan as we happily put on our pajamas.